My Airing of Grievances

• Driving 40mph in the left lane
• Bringing 14 items on a "10 Items or Less" line
• Qualifying offensive statements with “No offense, but….”
• Not clearing the snow off the top of your car
• “Your call will be answered in the order it was received”
• "We apologize for the inconvenience."
• "Your call is very important to us."
• Asking, “Can I ask you a question?” Yes, you can and you just did. Congratulations.
• Web links that read “click here”
• Honking your horn a millisecond after the light turns green
• Holding meetings, and meetings to discuss what we talked about in other meetings, and meetings to discuss what to talk about in future meetings
• Saying “boy, it’s windy outside, isn’t it?” As if verifying with another human that it is, in fact, windy.
• Pedestrians who stroll across the road as I wait for them to reach the other side.
• Cars that impatiently wait while I walk across the road to reach the other side.
• The fact that the original Star Wars trilogy (not the one with the kazillion little changes from Mr. Lucas) isn’t available digitally
• Driving ON the white line going down the road. Pick a side.
• 10 cash registers, a very long line, but only one person ringing up
• Charles Dickens. Don’t get me started.
• Everything about the GOP
• Mowing lawns at the break of dawn on Sunday mornings
• Polls and news stories about polls
• Kids who play frisbee on my lawn (a future grievance for when I'm the old woman at the end of the street with 17 cats)
• Bringing a cart full of items to pay for to the pharmacy counter and picking up one prescription, while the rest of us glare at you
• Pulling out right in front of me despite no car behind me for at least 22 miles
• Knowing I'll think of seven more grievances after this is published

The Story of Festivus

Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!